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Two-leg Mummy, Two-leg Daddy!

PorcineAdventure2014Chapter019 19.
Visiting the wild boar family had made both Piggy and Puggy extremely homesick. Piggy couldn’t quite put her hoof on what exactly it was that had made them feel like that. It was really nice seeing Puggy’s porcine parents—there was no doubt about that—but in the end, it had only made them realise how much they missed their real (i.e. two-legged) parents.

Half-way home Puggy announced that he’d changed his mind: growing up was tedious and overrated. In particular, he no longer wanted to call his two-legged parents “Two-leg Ashley” and “Two-leg Liam”; instead he wanted to go back to calling them “Two-leg mummy” and “Two-leg daddy”. On hearing this Piggy squealed with delight and snorted “me too!”.

Of course both Ashley and Liam had secretly been hoping that one day Piggy and Puggy would called them “mummy” and “daddy” again. Like all good parents they wanted their children to grow up and have successful independent lives… but at the same time they had missed them terribly and didn’t want to stop being relevant in their lives.

Ashley and Liam had just finished dinner when they heard a strange scratching at the front door followed by a scuffle of what sounded like hooves. Without exchanging a word they simultaneously jumped up—they knew what those sounds meant. They bounded across the kitchen and through the hall.

Although their front door was solid oak and two-inches think, they could hear the muffled snorting sounds of their two little piggies on the other side. Piggy and Puggy sounded excited.

(They both felt that it was ironic that Piggy and Puggy could both understand English, but neither of them could understand a word of “pigletish”—oh how to be intellectually humbled by your children! Porcine children at that!)

Ashley and Liam flung the door open with great excitement and expectation. However neither of them were quite prepared for the sudden onrush of two porcines travelling at great speed. Piggy and Puggy had literally shot in and affixed themselves to their legs in a manic hugging manner. It was clear what they were saying “Snooooorrrt!!! We missed yoooooou!!!”

And despite their rather bruised shins, Ashley and Liam both felt happier at that moment than they had done in a while. It was so nice having their children home!


That evening Piggy couldn’t sleep. She was super-happy to be home again, but as she lay wrapped in Puggy’s trotters, listening to the big cutie making snoring-snorts, she worried. She still hadn’t told Puggy what Daddy-Puggy had said to her just before they’d left the wild boar—about how he thought that actually Puggy might not be their child after all. Although the story he’d told her had been completely shocking and unbelievable, she had to admit it wasn’t as weird as some of the things she and Puggy had done last year (like, for example, discover the underwater kingdom of Kumari-La). Still, until she was sure the story was true, she resolved not to tell Puggy.

At last she drifted off to sleep, joining Puggy in their favourite dream.

Snort. Tweet. Snort. Follow.



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